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Had a chat with a colleague yesterday who is wrestling with some doubt about his performance.

As trader, he makes bets on whether certain moves will profit. Essentially, it's educated gambling.

He wanted to feel more confident.

So I asked him what a confident person would think, say, and feel.

He said "They'd know what they think is right. They'd be sure of themselves."

I waited, and asked: "So a confident person knows they're always right?"

He paused. "Well... no. Maybe they think they might not always be right. But they're ready to discuss it. Ready to find out."

I looked straight into his eyes and asked honestly

"Do you care more about looking confident, or do you care about finding out what's true?"

( I don't know what his answer would be, and I was interested in finding out too!)

His face changed a bit.

That moment when someone sees past their own story.

Here's what shifted for him - and maybe for us all:

You're not trying to become confident. You're declaring something deeper.

"I care about finding out.", he said.

Not about being right. Not about appearing certain. About the adventure of discovery itself.

From that place of caring, his view changes.

His goals shifted from "feel more confident" to "let's find out how to reach my targets."

And here's the thing - caring about finding out means being accountable for the results.

It's not just a nice to say thing. It means sitting with the tension of not knowing and still making it happen.

It means welcoming all the emotions that come with that - the anxiety, the uncertainty, the possibility of missing the mark.

I've been reflecting a lot using my AI coach and I think everyone would benefit from trying (I learned it from my mentor Felix).

AI can ask powerful questions to reframe our view. The questions I asked, AI can easily do.

But what AI not yet able to do is to catch the micro moments of his face.

AI cannot yet be a person who cares for my colleague and his goal & growth.

And AI won't train us to sit with dynamic & pregnant silence where you don't know what's coming, but you know something is coming.

You care about being a part of the creative solution.

That's the kind of "caring about finding out" that will make a difference in our work, and life.

Here is to more "caring about finding out".

Lots of love,

Khuyen

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ps: what are you caring to find out? Do write back

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