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Hi friends,

I hope you are well. I have been well, adjusting to this new quest here in Dubai - looking for the next work opportunities that better fit.

Which brought me to some reflection.

In the last two days, I was asked about what success looks like (by two admirable Serbian ladies in fact.. funny how that goes)

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Over the summer, I listened to Cal Newport’s podcast where he breaks down 5 common social types of success we see around us

1. Exit a startup, make lots of money
2. Elite work labor (top schools, then top companies Big Four etc, top prestigious credentials, moving up the ladders, making wild salary)
3. Impact and purpose (social entrepreneurs, author, making a difference)
4. Remarkable life (travel 100+ countries, having cool stories, top of your creative games like traveling musicians or top content creator / personal passions turned into business etc.. i.e be damn popular and good at your thing and get paid well for it)
5. Financial freedom (the post-American or any other countries dream - happy family, kids, volunteer at baseball leagues)

They are all valid and challenging. Usually people achieve one type and then turn to another (for eg, 2, then 1, then 3). Or everyone has a mixture of 2-3 things (like me, 3-4-5)

I’ve sat with this framing for many years now.

I’ve always been drawn to number 3.

Impact.

Connection. Being involved in people’s lives.

Participating in this dynamic world in a way that brings out the best in us.

(so that my funeral would be a big gathering & networking opportunities!)

That’s what moves me. If I couldn’t tell anyone which path I chose, that’s the one I’d pick.

Here’s the thing though.

Lately I’ve been looking at definition #2. The elite credentials. The Big 4. The clear markers of success. (which I know is going to tough to get in(

Not because I want it.

Because it feels “least affected by all the changes.”

Markets are shaky. I’m getting older. 30s is a trying time.

And suddenly the safety net looks really appealing.

Clear path. Clear validation. Everyone agrees you did the smart thing.

But then I caught myself.

Is number 2 actually more secure? Or does it just feel more secure because there are external markers telling me I’m on the right track?

Because in the last few years, we’ve seen mass layoffs.

Even the “safe” companies aren’t fortresses anymore.

So what am I really craving?

I think it’s this: when the world gets uncertain, I want someone to tell me I made the right choice. I want the validation that comes from doing what everyone agrees is smart.

But that’s not security. That’s just… comfort from external approval.

Here is what I’m learning.

Your definition of success gets tested when the world gets shaky.

That’s when you discover what you actually value versus what just looks safe.

Maybe the exact moment you want to switch lanes is when you should double down on what you already know matters to you. MAYBE.

I don’t know if I’ll be financially free in 10 years (i.e have a specific number in the bank account, say $900k)

I don’t know if choosing impact over credentials is “smart” in some objective sense.

But I know this: the work that involves being in people’s lives, helping them become who they deeply want to become, participating in this messy, dynamic world - that’s what lights me up.

Even when markets drop.

Even when I’m scared.

Maybe especially then.

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I’m reminded of what a mentor taught me 12 years ago.

“Don’t compare yourself with other people who are better than you or worse than you. Love your work, love your people.”

I’m still learning what it means. It gets harder, and I appreciate that difficulty.

What’s your current definition of success?

Worth thinking about.

with all my love,

Khuyen

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